Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize