They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize