the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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