My first STD was from a foam party
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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