Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Rumble strips road head = magical
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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