you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
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After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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