Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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