Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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