yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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