Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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