you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize