im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
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I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
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Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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