Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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