I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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