U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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