you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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