so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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