So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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