"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize