i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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