and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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