well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize