Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize