just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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