Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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