Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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