Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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