Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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