walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
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and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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