Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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