You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize