I skipped work to stalk him.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize