I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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