Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
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Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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