also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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