took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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