90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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