Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize