Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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