You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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