So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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