so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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