I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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