I didn't shave. On purpose
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
should my penis look like a turkey
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
jump out the window naked night went bad
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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