There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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