yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize