If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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