I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize