if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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