what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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